A blast from the past…(originally posted April 21st 2006) I was reading through some of WarriorWifes old blogs and ran across this one. I thought it was hilarious, so I thought I would re-publish it for your entertainment. enjoy!
To any and all professional or amateur psychologists, psyciatrists, dream-readers, and fortune tellers–prepare for some entertaining, here is my dream from last night….
(for those that want to continue believing I’m normal, read no further.)
I’m living in bible times with the Children of Israel. We’ve just conquered the Land of Canaan and contrary to historical accuracy, Moses didn’t get “taken up in a cloud” or “buried by the hand of God”; he’s really still alive and I’m his sidekick. Joshua is still the main leader-guy, and Moses is retired. He’s gone just the tiniest bit wacko in the head from the stress of wandering 40 years at the front of 3 million whiney children. But with the bit-o-wacko he’s become a genius inventor in his retirement years….just picture DaVinci and Merlin combined in the religiously powerful Moses and that’s the guy I’m working for.
So we’re out at the top of a mountain and Moses finds this amazingly pure and nutritional stream of water. He mutters and mumbles (in hebrew of course, but I’ve got one of those wicked cool sci-fi translates any language to English gadgets) “You know, WarriorWife, the middle east is kinda hot and dry. The children need some better water. But this little stream is not so efficient in getting to them. We’ve got to find a way to make it better.” Whereupon I agree and ask him if he wants a sandwich for lunch. He does, and while I make it, he gets to work on his new cleaner-water-to-the-people project.
This turns out to be COLOSSAL, way more far reaching than Moses ever thought it would be. (side note musing: I wonder if DaVinci would think that of his MonaLisa…”Gosh I just painted someone sitting on the side of the road and look what kind of freakish attention it’s gotten over the centuries!”) Okay, back on the ranch/mountain Moses has built a big aquaduct-like track that looks very similar to the twisty kind of “play with marbles on a fast track” game that we had as kids growing up, but it’s on a HUGE scale. He’s also come up with some cool and secret way to take regular bible-times sandals and make them into a white-brown ultra clean marble (like the rock) lining to this track to keep the nutritious water pure on it’s travel to the people. We’re talking some serious patent material, folks. Water flows into all of the cities on this awesome track and the whole thing just explodes into a NASA-habitates-a-barren-planet-sized operation.
Anyway, now the dream gets interesting. See Moses decides he could make some retirement money off of this and wants to start charging the people on a consumption basis. That doesn’t go over so smoothly and he becomes the evil and hunted fugitive extortionist. So we’re on the run (yes, I go to, since I’m the sidekick). He’s getting his secret plans from the top shop safe and I’m busting into Housewarden’s place for some good fugitive journey snacks. I find her eye-glasses in between the gold fish and the trail mix in her kitchen cupboards and I take those too, since they’d probably come in handy for two fugitives in case my glasses break.
And the rest of my dream Moses and I are sneaking around sabotaging this ultimate water plant barely escaping multiple lynch squads by busting through chalk walls and running across thatched roofs. I found I was pretty talented at the whole fugitive thing too, considering I was packing two huge supply packs (one on front and one on back) while Moses just carried a little knap sack. But I guess that’s how it goes since I was just the sidekick and he was an old guy.
I woke up a little sore in my legs and really thirsty. But I drank milk instead of water.
