So I got this email forward today:
One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, “Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”
Now, I don’t really know if it’s a true story, and since it’s an “internet forward” it’s probably not. But I realized something very true as I read it:
Pretty much, being a mother means you’re suddenly a super duper ANALYST.
Every situation. Analyze, Analyze, Analyze. You’re watching and continuously asking WHAT? and WHERE? and HOW? Analyze, Analyze, Analyze.
Hot? Cold? High? Low? Sturdy? Tight? Wet? Dry? Smelly? Snotty? Reachable? Breakable? Salvageable? Loud? Quiet? Healthy? Sugary? Messy? Fun? Lame? Cute? NOT cute? Time? Not time? Sleepy? Hungry? Clean? Dirty? Washable? Sick? Hurt? Poopy? Bored?
GAH! It’s never-ending! All you do ALL day is Analyze and attempt to Problem Solve. No wonder my brain is fried each night.
Next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to skip the “stay at home mom” title that gets just a vague nod. Instead I’m going to say “I’m a Domestic Analyst.”